Please take note that the 3 Stephs I'm going to mention below are all 3 different Stephs.
I know too many Stephanies.

Two of my friends were happy, and another two were down.

The two happy ones are my best friends
Alyssa being happy because I may be able to accompany her to New York this June, but nothing's confirmed yet.
Michelle is happy because she's no longer single. She messaged me early in the morning and I thought she was pulling my leg.

The two down ones.
One is sad because of going to a totally new environment, having no friends, scared of losing her secondary school friends and all.
Another is because of some complicated stuff.

They got me thinking about things.
About going to the US, losing friends because of lack of contacts.
About relationships.

I don't wish to lose my friends when I go over to the US.
It's going to be hard to keep in contact because of the time difference.
I'm not going to be able to meet up with them like before.
Even now, when all of us are in Singapore, it's hard to meet up because of their school and all.
How about next time when I'm in the US?
Wouldn't everything be over?
Tomorrow's the start of Poly, and it's going to be worse for me.
Everyone of my friends will have school, and what will I be doing?
Rotting at home. All of them are going to end school around evening time.
We won't even have the time to meet up.
I can't imagine what it'll be like the next time I'm back from the US.
Will we even meet up? Will we even keep in contact when I'm in the US?
Will it be awkward if we suddenly meet up after months?
I've so many unanswered questions in my mind.
I don't even know what to think now. I don't want to think about anything anymore.
But I just can't help it..
My brain feels like it's going to burst.

I don't want to lose contact with anyone.
I don't want to lose any friendship... Who does anyway?

Aik He said he wants at least a few old friends to be with him when school starts tomorrow.
But isn't it worst for me?
I'll be in a totally different country.
At least in NP, he'll have friends. Just that they are not in the same course as him.
He can still meet up with them and all.
I'll be alone, except for Steph who'll be with me.
Other than Steph, who can I go with? I wouldn't know anyone.
Everyone are total strangers to me.

I always listen to friends complaining about starting a new life in Poly or JC.
I mean, I don't mind listening to them, because that's what friends are for.
But, inside me, I'll start to feel sad along with them.
Do they even know I'm in a worse condition?
Oh well, I shall be nice and listen to them. I don't mind being sad with them.
One for all and all for one. Right?
We stick together, always.

I don't know how I'm going to survive in the US.
I don't know if I can make friends there.
I don't know how are the people there like.
I don't know if I'm friendly enough.
My friends say that I'm friendly, but I don't think so.
I don't think I'm friendly. Am I?

I think I'm gullible.
I don't know how I'm going to know who are my true friends, and who are not.
I don't know who to trust, and who to not trust.
I'm just that gullible.

Steph said that she found potential boyfriends for me.
Her friends' brothers.
Oh my god Steph, I'm not interested.
I don't plan to go into a relationship. Thanks.

Ah, I shall snap out of this mode now.
I shall start on a new drama. Yes, I'm still on my Taiwan dramas.
I've already ended more than 5.
And I still have about 5, and I'm going to get more.
I can hear my Korean dramas calling my name too.

Speaking of Taiwan.
If Lizhen and Steph really decide to go, and we can hang out with _____,
I will definitely go.
That'll be in the first week of June though.
But, Alyssa is leaving for New York either in the first week or the second week of June!
Actually, I haven't even ask mommy.
I need confirmation from Lizhen and Steph, before I ask mommy.
Lizhen, are we even going with Steph?
Steph, are we even going with you?
Ah, I don't know who are going. How about Chantel?
I need to know the details to ask mommy..

My June holiday schedule is super unorganised. So messy, so confusing.
I have so many places to go that I think I'm going bonkers.
Should I go Thailand to visit Mui?
Or should I go Taiwan with Lizhen & Steph?
Or should I go New York with Alyssa?
Or should I go back to Indonesia to learn driving?
Or should I stay in Singapore to hang out with my friends before I actually leave for the US permanently in early July?
Or should I go Canada to visit Jia?

But, where ever I do go, I've to be in Indonesia on July 4th for my cousin's wedding.
I'm confused. I can't make up my mind.

Mommy may want me to go back to Indonesia next week or something.
But only for 1 week. Go back and forth in between my Japanese lesson.
To learn driving, and to do something else.
I don't know. I'm so confused.

I've to fly to the US of A on July 5th because I've to check in with my school, Pasadena City College (PCC), by July 6.
July 6 is already the last day.
Orientation's on July 10.

So many choices.
My mind can't make up it's mind.

Help?

Been watching my drama every day and night.
Hahah. I'm addicted.
After my Taiwan dramas, my Korean Dramas are next in line.

Hehe (:

After about 2 or 3 days of being psycho,
my Internet decided to be a good boy again.

I miss youuuuuuuuuu! Hehehe.

My internet's screwing up real bad.
Sorry for signing in and out of MSN so frequently.
Ah, James think my Internet's jealous because I'm watching too much drama and ignoring it.
Hahah. Can't wait for daddy to come back so he can fix this or buy a new thingy.

Okay, bye!

Even though I felt that I was in a totally different world apart from usual.
I'm glad.
Made new friends, and that's great.
Even though I was tired and all today, but I had fun.

Strangers are just family who we haven't meet right?
Or something like that.
We shouldn't be afraid of meeting strangers.
Otherwise, how can we have more friends?
Weren't your best friends, friends or whoever beside you, once a total stranger to you too?
Be more friendly and sociable.
Who knows you might find another best friend, a great listening ear, or even the right guy right?
Open your heart... But know the limit as well.
Don't be gullible.

Feeling down over some stuff.
It's probably nothing to all of you but it's huge to me.
(Don't bother asking me what is it, it's nothing. Don't worry. I'm fine.)

Had the same wonderful, fantastic dream. Hahah.
Hope to go this June!

Will try to achieve it by next year (:
Hopefully.. I can.

<3

Had the most beautiful dream.
Wishing, and trying to work hard, to make it come true.

(:

It's freaking gone.
The video of you waving into my camera, the one that you smiled for my camera, the one where I was walking only an arm's length away from you with no guards behind you..
It's gone.

How can I lose such a video?
I'm sorry ):

It's going to be surprising to some...
But, I'm like hooked to Chinese songs and Taiwan dramas now.
Just watched Pi Li MIT, it is so freaking good.
And Aaron is damn cute inside. Tsk, how I wish I'm the female lead.
Hahaha. Every fan of his will want that.
He's a super good actor, and talented in Piano... He's the best hehe.

You know I finished the whole drama in like, less than 24 hours! HAHA.
Okay, bye! Next drama is waiting for me now.

<3

Hello! I feel fat, damn.
I need to lose weight.
Prontoooo.

Byeee (:

I miss you Michelle Chang Chao Ching & Alyssa Wee Chun Xin,
my besterest best friends in the whole wide world.

I love you guys.

I miss you too Mikey.

Don't worry, I love you guys too, Haziqah, Verna, Jerevien,
Jia, Mui, Hui, and you know who you are.





HI JAMES, hahahahahaha.

Htc Diamond? What Htc Diamond?

It's missing. Lost/Stolen/Dropped? No idea.
Last used it at about 1+, almost 2pm.
And found it missing from my bag at... 3pm.
How smart. Called SBS thingy, uncle checked the bus twice.
Went down after movie, I had no choice but to watch since we bought the ticket already..
Checked the bus myself, no luck.
No one found my phone because it was still ringing.

I know I should like, relax, chill or whatever.
But it's my first time losing a phone... And it had to be my Htc Diamond.
): Dad terminated the line, so it's no use trying to call it now.
Hope that a kind soul found it & see the messages and Shufang, Haziqah, Afiq and I sent.
(by the way, thanks a lot guys, for calling non stop and messaging, and hoping that I could find it. Thanks for following me down to the interchange and all too. Thank youuuuu.)
Sigh, I want my phone back.
My messages.
My pictures.
My videos.
My contacts.
Everything.
I miss my phone.. I always play the bubble breaker game or something before I sleep.
& from today onwards... I can't play it before sleep anymore.
A cut from my daily routine.
How am I supposed to sleep now. I'm so used to playing until I feel tired.
Ahhhhh, come back phone. ):

Will blog when I'm feeling better again.

The lovely 4E1, half of the class that is (:

The supposed to be nice skyline.
Sadly my house area = a lot of buildings.
Heard the view in the east side is much nicer.
Aw, so sad that I missed it. Hehe.

Skyped with James for like 12 hours!
I don't know if you can see the duration from the picture.
But yeah, 12 hours on the dot. Hahah.
We continued for like another 15 mins after that.
Hehe. It's fun skype-ing with him.
Talked, talked and talkedddddd. Hahah.
CALORIES, everyone's enemy. Right James? HAHA.
(Oh, click on the picture to see the duration of the call.)

So, I was supposed to meet my friend just now.
But her flight got delayed and she couldn't meet me.
It's okay btw (: Don't worry about it.
I ended up doing grocery shopping. Again!
I realised I like to grocery shop. Hahah.
So I messaged James that my friend couldn't come.
And I couldn't buy the ingredients to make the lasagna rolls
because I can't remember what they are.
And and, he replied me with all the ingredients that I need!
Hahah, thanks James. So so so, I bought all the stuff.
But I don't think I'm making it today.
Hehe, Stephie wants to come over to taste it and
her mom's cooking today so I shan't cook it today.
Tomorrow perhaps?
Oh, I bought like 4 or 5 different Jelly flavours.
Hahaha, James! Salted Jelly! HAHA.
(inside joke)

May be going out with the 2G people again.
Hehe, I love all of the classes.
Being it to be my primary school classes 1A, 2A, 3A, 4A, 5B, 6B.
Or secondary school classes, 1G, 2G, 3E1, 4E1.
They are the best classes ever.
I'll never forget all of you. Love you guys! (:

Avoiding you, is the best medicine for this.

The Pros and Cons on to go or not to go to the US.

PROS
I'll not have to study every single day for two years, just to study for the A levels.
And I won't have to worry about my results I'll get afterwards.
I'll have my best friends there.
I'll have the time to play and have fun, but on the other hand, do well in college.
I'll be roommates with Stephie.
I won't be alone in my freshman year, cause I'll have Stephie.
I've my sisters there.
I can drive there.
It's not as boring as Singapore.

CONS
I'll miss all of the people here, especially a few and you know who you are.
I'll miss the class gatherings or whatever things that's going to happen, and I'm not here!
I'll miss chatting, gossiping and everything with the usual people.
I'll miss my family, especially my brother!
I'll miss the food here.

Looking and comparing at the Pros and Cons, no doubt that the Pros are more appealing. And that really makes me want to go to the US this instance.
But, I'll miss everyone here like really crazily, and that really makes me think twice on whether I should go.

However, to come to think of it, I can skype with anyone that I miss, and talk, gossip with them. Just that it won't feel exactly the same.

Going to the US, it's for my future. It's only the right thing to do. I wouldn't want to lose such an opportunity.
I mean, even if I'm there, I still can keep in contact with everyone back here, and catch up with you guys.
And whenever I'm back in town, we can meet up. Right?

I'm going to really miss all of you.
I even missed 4E1 like crazy, after two short months.
I miss my BBFL partners. I haven't seen Mitch since SEVEN months ago! And Aly for a month or so.

Speaking of which. I loved the little gathering we had. even though it was short, I enjoyed myself. Love you guys.

I'm going to update more tomorrow or something. I blogged cause I couldn't sleep.. I'm using my phone! I really need to turn in now, to ensure my eye doesn't get swollen again. Bye!

oh btw, Jerevien! if you're reading this, my brother wants you to come asap cause he wants to eat the two stuff! get back to me yeah. (:

I see myself looking at your fb profile.. almost everyday.
Ahhh, why?

I feel really bad for not going for Yoga since like, Sunday.
That's like, 4 days ago..
But I'm going later on! Hehe, finally.

So, I skyped with James & Mitch.
All in all, I skyped with James for almost 12 hours.
Like 11.5 hours, we wanted to skype for 12 hours and longer..
But I fell asleep :\

Oh, after Yoga's class outing.
I'm still thinking if I should get the Nike Yellow Banana Boat Bag.
My mom said I could if I wanted to.
But, I don't know.. It's so expensive.

Will blog again. Bye!

I am still skype-ing with James! Hahahaha.
& we're talking about SPHHHHHHHHHHH.
Lovely times. Horse Riding as our PE..
How cool is that huh, try to have such PE in Singapore.
That day, will never come. Unless you're in an International School, maybe...

Hahaha, anyway, we're like discussing andand,
we might be in the same class! What are the chances huh.
We've the same teacher, Miss Elis. And, I do recall having a James in my class.
And he've a classmate names Caroline..
Well, who knows, maybe it's different James & Caroline.
Hahahah, likelike, this increased the possibility of us being classmates way back in Kindergarten!
Kindergarten and yet we only knew each other last year.
He being Mitch's classmates in Secondary School &
Me bring best friends with Mitch.
So Mitch was like telling me about this guy being in SPH Lippo Karawaci.
And telling him about me being in SPH Lippo Karawaci too.
So cool right! Hahahaha.

Okay, I'll see him in like 4 months. And him, Mitch and I are going to drive drive drive.
ROADTRIP! Can't wait. (:

I'm back to blog because..
NURUL HAZIQAH said it's boring, it's dead. Hahahah.

I cooked for my brother twice... At an ungodly hour, 2am.
Yeaaaah, my brother's insane. He needs to consume stuff for like every single minute of the day. I'm not even kidding. Unless he's asleep of course.

I'M SKYPE-ING WITH JAMES SUGIHARTOOOOOOOO NOW. Hahahah.

So so so, I'm really into cooking now, hehe.
Can't wait for grandma to get here (sunday!!) and she'll teach me cooking.
Hahahah, so exciting!

OH & HAZIQAH. If you're reading this, Cheryl said that Mrs Khorn said that we can go visit her and her family, Mr Khorn and their kids soon!
So exciting x2. Hahahaha.

OKAY, I don't like to blog, but I'm nice to Haziqah, cause I'm trying to make her smile.
To cheer her up. HAHAHA. Byeeeee!

Hello! I've been neglecting this blog for some time. Hehe.

I grew fatter! & I'm short..
So, I joined Yogaaaaaaaaa. It was pretty tiring at first.
But I'm starting to like it now! Hehe.
Went for it like 3 days in a row. Pretty crazy. Aching everywhere.
I'm fine now! I haven't go Yoga for like, 2 days now. I feel lazy.
But but, I'm going Yoga tomorrow, again. Yay.

Anyway, I'm accepted in PCC.
Hahaha, It's so stupiddddd. They took a month to find all the items that I sent... & took one day to consider and yay, "Welcome to Pasadena City College".

MOE is really slow. They only sent the Sec 5s' testimonials to the school.
Where are the Sec 4s?
Well, I needed my testimonial for my application to SMC so the school printed one copy for me.. Not the official one from MOE but something like it.
SMC won't really care that much anyway.

If if if, SMC doesn't accept me, then I'll be leaving July 5! Hahah.
Orientation's on July 6. July 4 is my cousin's wedding in Indo.. Busy busy busy. Gosh.
And I've to back to Indo soooooon. Most probably June? Mid June? I think so.

Okay, I'm too lazy to blog. Bye!

I miss so many peopleeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Especially Michelle Chang, my BBFL partner who I haven't meet up with since 6 months ago.
HALF A YEAR, omg, that's the longest time I haven't seen you ever. Come back soon bestieeee.