I've a book on worship and devotion from Charlina that I've to read.

I'm not saying that it's like something I'm forced to read from her.

I find myself to be interested in reading the book actually.

So from today onwards, I'm going to leave some time before I sleep reading:

1) Charlina's book,

2) Jtiff's book (Battlefield of The Mind), and last but not least,

3) The Bible.

Just got to train myself to have the habit to do much more spiritually.

There is no way that I can feel as close to God without doing this everyday.

Worshipping Him, being devotional, praying and all of those are just things that we have to do as a daily routine.

It have to be a habit.

And I'm trying to do so.

I know I might crumble and fall for the first few days.

But God, give me the strength and will to get through the first few days.

Those days are the hardest.

Once I get through those couple of days, I know that I will do the readings, worshipping and prayers without having the mentality to not do so.

xx

Time to bathe and to start reading.

It's time to be a better person.

Time to get to know God's words more.

It's time for me to be someone who can just pray not only for myself but for every single person around me.

Time to grow spiritually.

It's time to be someone who is out there to spread the word of God.

xx

It's November 1st.

I don't know whether I should be glad that the year is ending as it's equivalent to holidays being nearer/closer.

Or if I should be sad that my sisters are leaving soon.

One is actually leaving in 2 days.

TWO DAYS.

I hate this ):

I surrender myself to You, Lord.

I know I should have listened to You when You told me what I had to do.

I didn't and it only made me feel worse.

But now I realize that it was a mistake.

I am going to do whatever You have in plan for me, Lord.

You know everything and You are the best.

You planned out my life and You will ensure that I go on the right paths in order to achieve what You have in mind for me.

I just want to thank You for not giving up on me.

我又開始想太多了。

也許我想的是真的吧。

I survived Universal Studio's Halloween Horror Night! :D
It was filled with so much fun, joy, laughter and craziness!
With a little tears from me and someone else though.
But overall, it was so entertaining!
Especially since we went in such a big group.

All of us had a partner by the end of the first maze.
Girls paired up with a guy to get some protection and stuff.
It was quite fun.
During mazes, we would wound up hooking arms or holding hands with the ENTIRE group.
So each girl had two guys, one by their side and at their back.
Hahahaha.

I cried at the end of the first maze, which was the "Vampyre: Castle of the Undead".
It was not THAT bad until the last part.
I was really scared but not to the point of crying until the moment right before we exited.
The room with all of the white "ghosts".
That was bad.
When I was about to leave the maze for good, this "ghost" was waiting behind the wall and scared the hell out of me!
And that was when I cried.
Man, without that, I could have proved myself wrong when I said I will so definitely cry last night!
Oh well, what I did was to prove that I was right all along and that I'm a scaredey-cat.
:p

The others that we went to were:
Terror Tram
King Kong 360 3-D: The Skull Island Express
A Nightmare on Elm Street: Never Sleep Again
Saw: Game On

Terror Tram was fine until the part where they made you go down and walk through this patch of land that is filled with people with make up or costume waiting for you..
But the thing that made it fun was that a few of us who went already knew where's the ghost so we're like..
"Di kiri, di kanan" and all that.
Even with that, we were still shocked when they came out.
For this walk, we were crowding ourselves into one big group and walked together in that manner...
So hard to walk but that was cute.
OH, during the walk, this person came to scare me by appearing in front of my face.
I didn't know how to react because I wasn't that scared.
So I said, "Hi".
And after that Steph and I winded up saying "Hey~" to the people who place their faces in front of us.
Hahaha.

King Kong left me in awe.
It was just spectacular.
But this ride, I believe, wouldn't make people come back for more.
I mean, it's really cool and stuff but probably the maximum number of times I would ride this in a day is 2.
However, all of you should really try out this ride.
It's such a new concept that will leave you just all amazed!

Nightmare on Elm Street vs Saw.
Nightmare was scary, but personally, I feel that Saw is scarier.
Maybe it's because Nightmare only had one character in the show and throughout the whole maze, I was squished in between Hebron and Julian that I didn't really see everything to make me feel really scared.
:p
I mean, comparing that to Saw, where there exists already 5 sequels and stuff.
And I wasn't really in between two people, so I saw more stuff.
And I got scared twice, by that I mean the "ghosts" literally came out from the door when I was in front of it.

Yeah, that's about it.
The funniest part of yesterday was when someone got scared when we're walking out of the Nightmare maze to the point that that person almost fell down!
I'm not going to say who because that wouldn't be nice..
But all of us present last night would know who and it'll always be there in your memories!
Hahahaha.

All of us were so exhausted and worn out by the end of the night.
To the point where the 6 of us in the car, Hebron, James, Alfred, Jess, Steph and myself didn't communicate all the way.
You should have seen us en route to Universals.
We were quite talkative!
Oh, I forgot to mention, we had Tony Roma's for dinner and we faked Iwan Tjhai's birthday.
He didn't know it was for him until the waiter placed the cake in front of him.
It was then when his face turned red!
Really red.

Hahaha, I'm losing my voice.
My throat is hurting so badly now.
I blame all of the screamings for this pain.
I really did scream a lot.
Julian complained after Nightmare that I was screaming even BEFORE the people came out to scare us.
Hahaha, when he said that I was laughing, at myself.

Okay, time to bathe, drink some honey water, drink some tea, and head to LMU to finish up my homework for the weekend before tonight.
It's time to watch either Paranormal Activity 2 or Saw 3D!
It's about time to catch a movie!
My last movie was Jackass 3D and that seems like eons ago.

Okiedokie, goodbye lovelies!
Xoxoxo.

We're going to Universal Studios in 2 hours!!
I'm quite excited for it since I'm not going for the Halloween parade this Sunday.
This shall make up for it.

Okiedokie, study time before heading out to get scared and to cry from all of the scaring!
No POP class and AGS tomorrow so it's going to be an awesome day to sleep in and do homework.
Goodbye!!
Xoxo.

Makeover status: 2/3 stages completed!
Hahah, time to shop and change my dressing now :p
Then the last step before I'm the new me is that I've to change on the inside to be someone prettier :)
By that I mean, be a little more demure!
I'm so glad I haven't said a single vulgarity, especially the four letter word that starts with a F ever since I got back from my summer holiday.
Life is good!

Time to nap now!
Goodnight? :)

Listening to my Chinese playlist.

You guys know what it means..

就讓你飛，飛過現在兩個人膠著

風有多大雨有多美才是你的一切

給你的祝福我不掉淚

說好天堂各自尋找，請不要回頭望

遠遠關心就好，你飛吧

事實擺在眼前，我還能說甚麼呢？

Stephanie Tanubrata: Hello.

Patricia (Patrick) Ariani: Hello.

xx

2 Corinthians 2:10-11

What I have forgiven ... has been for your sakes ... to keep Satan from getting the advantage over us; for we are not ignorant of his wiles and intentions.

Sometimes we just do not realize that we surrender, even temporarily to Satan's invitation.

His invitation for us to enjoy a life filled with misery, worry and confusion.

Where Satan triumphs is where he offers wrong thinking to all of us.

He would do and say anything to make sure that you agree with him and to do something bad in your life.

His temptation worked on Eve when he told her that she will be like God, that she'll know good and evil if she ate the fruit from the Tree of Good and Evil.

Eve lost the first battle for the mind.

We can win and keep on winning the battles in our mind as we have the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

Pray, pray for our powerful God to cast away Satan from filling our mind with evil, and for him to stop attacking our mind, playing our minds by making evil seem good.

Ask Him for strength and power to do so.

In the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Philippians 3:7-9
But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith ... (NKJV)

Romans 8:31
If God is for us, who can ever be against us?

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Confused.

Sometimes don't you just wonder what is it that people want from you?
Sometimes people can be so bad at expressing themselves that they make things so unclear and hence create misunderstandings between two people or among a group of people.
Sometimes we should stand up, decide what is it that we want to do and do according to our decision.

We shouldn't let others get the wrong idea.
Isn't that true?

Relationship.
Amos 3:3 - Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?
As you can see, it does not take much to make others understand that it takes two to make a relationship work.
But it is not for the fact that by having two people in a relationship that it will definitely work out.
Two people can easily create tension between them with a little spark present.

The few important things that need to be present in order for the relationship to work out are:
1) Communication,
2) Commitment, and
3) Discipline.

Communication is not just you talking and your partner talking.
It also involves listening.
You have to be present, physically, mentally and spiritually while your other partner or friend is talking and telling you things that they need to get out of their chest.
If you do not pay attention and listen attentively, that is not only mean but it is disrespectful as well.
Can you imagine your partner doing the same to you?
Put yourself in their shoes.
Wouldn't you want him/her to jot down every single tiny detail of the stories you're sharing about in their mind?
Without communication, somehow a relationship seems easier to be ruined.
It's the little things that you tell one another that makes the bond between you two stronger.
Without communication, small unnecessary things that are not told can easily expand to a huge problem between you two.

Commitment: an agreement between two people.
We shall not be governed by emotion but by commitment.
Imagine two people having the communication part done but not the commitment, that won't do anything well for them in the future, would it?
People can easily talk to others, vent to others, rant to others, be there for others but without the commitment part, it can be torn apart with a the little-st strength ever.
We shouldn't let our emotions take over when deciding to do something because our emotions are so temporary that you will regret your decision after your emotion changes.
We should all think thoroughly and in detailed before actually deciding what is it that you really want to do.

Discipline.
God does not want us to be immature.
God wanted us to be disciplined in order for us to know how to make our own decision.
He entrusted us that we know which option to choose.
He knows that we would choose the right choice ultimately.
The freewill that He gave us is not for us to take advantage of, it is not for us to do anything that we can to do.
I mean, in a way, yes it is.
But looking it at another way, it is not because you shouldn't abuse the freewill that God gave you.
To me, I believe the reason why God gave us freewill is because He wants to see how mature we can be in making decisions.

And that was roughly what was being discussed during POP today.
POP being our bible study group held on every Saturday morning.

xx

Sometimes it just amazes me how the Holy Spirit works.
It knows exactly what to do.
For a few times already, every single thing that I pray to God about, asking for a direction, asking for clues, hints or help for this troubling question in my mind, it will be answered in that week through my friends, my care group, or even Pastor Ray.
I mean, how crazy is that?
That is God speaking to me right there and then.
Whenever others tell me how they feel about a certain random topic that we came up with, it answered the question stuck in my head.
That makes me so speechless at times.
Astonished at how God works, how God answers prayers, how God is always there helping you out of your problems, it just makes me feel so thankful and grateful towards Him.
I know that maybe things like this won't last forever, but sometimes it's just maybe I'm becoming more oblivious to things around me and not realizing that they are signs from God.

I know that He spoke to me, told me what to do with the thing that I am worried about through Pastor Ray today.
But I think that it's not something that I can do in a split second.
I now know what He have in plan for me and I'll work towards that.
But I think I need time.

Thank You for always being there for me, Lord Jesus.
You are just so amazing and wonderful.
There is no one else like You.
I am just so grateful and thankful for everything.
Thank You God, thank You.

Goodnight in advanced lovelies.
Xoxo.

The show that we watched during care group today was really just...

Amazing, eye-opening, mind-blowing, mind-boggling, majestic, (insert other synonyms here).

Not only did Rob Bell uses the Bible to explain spirituality, he also used science.

Don't you normally see people categorizing things so that things scientific has nothing to do with it being religious, so as to speak.

But during the whole hour or so of his video, it will just make others think otherwise.

Thinking that things are or can be related.

He said so much that it is insanely just wow.

I will go on about that tomorrow.

One thing that I would like to share is what I got from one of his last story.

It was about his friend going to West Africa.

His friend and others were getting food to the place that there were in because of the famine that the area was suffering from.

And when they finally had food for the community, it was just like it was a festive season.

Tent were set up, people were celebrating away.

Firstly, to this point, it made me feel that we are such wasteful people, inconsiderate people and ungrateful people.

To think that we have any food that we want, unlike the people who can't afford food, and yet we still have the guts to not finish our food and throw them away.

Don't you just feel that we're wasting the food that others are wishing, hoping and praying that they could have?

I think the reason why people tend to say "think about the African people" when people do not finish their food is because they are just considerate on the inside.

Yes, you not finishing your food doesn't mean that you can send your food to Africa.

But it does help knowing that you are not throwing away the food that can satisfy them when they are starving, it really does help.

All of us just need to be more thankful and grateful for the things that we can afford and get in our lives.

Not only for food, but for every single aspect in our lives.

Back to the story, during the celebration, and far away, it was seen that there was a tornado.

It was on a straight path headed towards them.

But just as the tornado was at the side of the patch of land that they were located, it literally stopped, "moved" along the side of the land and continued on its path.

I mean, doesn't this just make your jaw drop?

How could a tornado stop suddenly, move along the sides of a land, and continue its original way that it was headed to?

What I got from this is just that it amazes me how real God is.

No matter what the circumstances are, God is always there.

Sometimes we might not feel His presence, but He is always there.

Sometimes we might be celebrating too much too even think about God at that point of time, but He is always there.

Sometimes when we are in the midst of a celebration, God is also there watching us, rejoicing with joy together with us.

Sometimes God just work wonders.

He work miracles.

He creates things that we have no explanation for.

God was there watching over all of them present at that celebration and ensured their safety.

Having a "safety bubble", "safety gate" surrounding them in order for the tornado to not ruin the entire place.

But we have to know that God is not only there with us when we are happy, celebrating or things like that, He is always there with us regardless of our emotions and situations.

When we are down, He is there.

When we are troubled, He is there.

When we are in need, He is there.

When we are worried too much, nervous, He is there.

He is just with us every second of the day.

He will never leave our side.

That is just one thing that really spoke to me when Rob Bell told his audience this story.

God is never away from you, especially during times when you are in need of Him.

Sometimes even though we do not feel His presence, He is still there.

No matter what our emotions are, He is still there.

That is what I wanted to blog about..

And now that I'm done, I'm heading to my sleepyland now.

I may not make any sense to you, and if so, I apologize.

I think it is due to the fact that my brain is a little down now because of my sleepiness.

I'll try to explain a little more tomorrow.

But for now, it's sleepy time.

Goodnight lovelies.

Xoxo.

I ate so much today X_X

Cereal, a slice of bread, snacked a bit, and this little tiny frozen pizza, a bit of ice cream and yeah a little bit more snacks.

Diet diet diet.

I'm coming for you again.

Caregroup in a while!

:D

Xoxo.

"Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it." -Terry Pratchett

Auditioned for Music Ministry today.

I was so shy and nervous that it's not even funny how scared I was feeling.

Didn't do it as well as I thought I would.

):

I hate how badly I did just now..

Time to sleep.

I need my sleep, badly.

I will blog tomorrow because I shall stay in the whole entire day until night time before heading out for CG.

Okiedokie, time to sleep now.

Goodnight.

Xoxo.

Within the short three minutes (of thinking of a voice that I trust and believe without question), only one name came up in my mind and it hindered me from having anyone else’s name entering my head. That one, glorious, magnificent name is God. His voice is the top of my authority list as He is just so great that no words can describe how good He is. Words like good and great are just understatements because God is so much more than that. There is just no one in the world that would not lie to you in any point in life, except God. The reason on why I trust in Him and believe in His words is because He promised us that He would hold our hands and never let them go. Our God is just so amazing that it is just hard to not trust in Him, it does take a lot of faith however, to just hand our whole lives into His hands. In the Bible, in Isaiah 40:29-31, it wrote that He is looking over us and giving us the needs to do our best in our lives. The verses go like this, “He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength, they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.” There are evidences here that made me trust in the Lord more. Firstly, like I have stated above, God gives us the strength to go through the obstacles in our life. This, of course, requires us waiting for Him. It does not take a second to see changes, but we have to trust in Him, as He does not surface Himself in our lives too early or too late – He always come on time, always. I know that the basis of my trust in God is good enough because there are just so many proofs of God touching our lives that it is impossible for us not to not ponder about the fact on whether God is real. Healings are being witnessed every single day, miracles from God is in our sights every single moment the clock is ticking. The base foundation of my trust for Him is just not for the fact that I read and trust His words from the Bible. It is for the main reason that without him, blind people would not be able to see again, disabled people would not be able to walk again, and everything along that line. He just works wonder by healing illnesses that we, Man, could not heal even with the advanced technology provided in our medical society, regardless of whether it is in the past, present or the future. These things like the Bible, the evidences of God being in our lives, of Him changing people to be better, for Him allowing miracles to work by curing people, are just a few of the endless reasons on why the one person I trust the most in my life is God, and that is also why this basis of my trust for Him is always good enough for every speaker and every situation.

Pardon me if I do not make any sense in the chunk of words written above. Xoxo.

不要再想下去了啦！

不值得 不值得 不值得 不值得 不值得 不 值 得！

女人的知覺大多數是對的吧？

我猜我這一次是猜對了。

I am so behind my posts.

I have so many things to update you guys about.

To give new incredible insights and to open everyone's eyes about my past few days or even weeks.

Especially my experience in encounter retreat.

That was just such a phenomenal event that everyone who went will never forget.

So that is one, the other one is about my baptism.

And prayer sessions.

& just about everything in my life.

I think I am no longer that old Caroline who is oblivious to the things going on in my life and how God works his way "secretly" so to speak.

He does not come to you directly and tell you which way is the right one and which to follow.

He does not not answer your prayers but He answers them through your friends and give you different small signs.

xx

I don't know what I was typing about anymore.

That was from like 12 hours ago!

:/

I'll probably get it back again later.

So I'll continue it later.

Goodbye!

Okay, nevermind.

I'm going to bed now.

My eyes and mind can't take it anymore.

Even if I stay up and study now, nothing will enter my already-shut-down-brain.

:/

What language is that.

Okay, nevermind.

Time to sleep!

Shall wake up at 6am tomorrow.

Goodnight lovelies.

Xoxo!

I seriously need to stop pulling my muscles.

It was my right calf last week.

And today it's my left thigh.

Last week's wasn't that bad.

It hurt for the entire day but it wasn't that painful.

Today's just bad.

I'm slightlyyyyy limping.

:(

Time to study a little and head to bed at 3am.

Waking up at 630am tomorrow :(

Goodnight lovelies.

Xoxo.

I really felt like today's prayer session was "customized" to meet with my feelings.

They were talking about praying to God in order for Him to fill the void in our heart.

That was what I was praying hard for last night.

And I really felt that God was telling me His next step for me in my life through Dita and Cipta tonight.

I just need to let go of all the worries, anxieties, and all of my feelings in me and just pray to God and let Him lead the way.

I felt much better after the prayer session.

I am glad I gave up studying in Dita's room and went ahead with the short but sweet prayer session earlier on.

I have so much on my mind and it's slowly slipping away because I know my prayer is being answered.

He is there to guide me to the right path.

There is no one else like Him.

Something that I'm just really sad about is the fact that someone is leaving tomorrow.

And it's going to be really sad for me.

I know I'm not super duper close to her.

But it's just that she's my idol, someone I look up to.

She's someone who I just want to be like.

To be someone so amazing, such a prayer warrior and just touching everyone's lives.

She always call me cutie because she say that I'm cute.

It's so funny but I told her that that shall be what only she can call me.

I can't wait for my exam to finish tomorrow because that means I can catch up with her after that and spend the last day with her and a few friends.

I'll really miss you.

):

Mini makeover next week :)

Can't wait, so excited and hyped out about it.

Hehe.

Goodnight lovelies.

Xoxo.

1 John 4:7-12

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

I know I post this before, but I just want to post it one more time.

This is how much I like these verses.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.

I feel so much better.

The words within my mind, head and heart were just words from the devil.

Words that didn't have to bother me, but I allowed them to anyway.

But that shall no longer be true.

Little things shall not bring me down anymore.

I'm more than that.

I'm not going to lie that I've so much things going on in my head.

And you guys would probably know from my short posts for the past few days.

But, whenever I pray, after I pray, I just feel that these problems were so small that it is so insignificant to the point that I shouldn't even be stressing over about.

Praying really does give me a sense of peace and it really makes me smile.

I just want to say how important praying is for me now.

It's something that I never did in the past, and something I'm doing regularly now.

If you feel that you are sad, down, stressed, angry, or even when you are happy, excited and stuff like that.

You can pray.

You can choose to rant to God, you can choose to pray for things to be better but most of all, you should, actually you MUST always thank God for everything.

Give Him thanks.

For every single thing.

Goodnight lovelies.

Another short sleep for me tonight.

Aids Walk tomorrow.

10km walk, here I come.

這兩個月發生了很多很多事情。

這個星期也發生了太多事了。

我怎麼不會開始想一些奇怪的東西呢？

我不會再想太多了。

我會讓事情自然的發生。

不知道自己正在說甚麼。

就這樣了，拜拜。

No time to blog!

Sorry lovelies.

It's such a busy time for me.

It's 3am, I just got home and I've to wake up in 4.5 hours.

But waking up tomorrow morning has it's purpose: POP class!

To understand the fundamentals and basics about The Bible and God, it's worth it :)

Okay, time to wash up and get my full 4.5 hours of sleep!

Goodnight lovelies.

Xoxo.

Pushing all my other thoughts away.

And filling my mind with God.

He will get me through anything and everything.

From the little things to the huge, big things.

I just want to thank You for never giving up on me.

I'm becoming my old self today.

The over sensitive, thinking too much and crazy old me.

I'm going to bathe.

Pray.

And sleep.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

It will.

Goodnight.

Xoxo.

My thoughts are drowning me.

It really is.

Devil's words are surrounding me and drowning me silently.

I'm getting out of this hole, this pool of emotions.

And that is thanks to God.

He is always there to hold my hand and to ensure that I'll be fine.

He have planned out our lives and I just trust Him in everything.

I'm so bored.

Bored of doing math.

Bored of doing derivatives.

:(

I feel so sick and tired :(

Been coughing and having flu..

Today's the worst day so far..

Hopefully I'll get better tomorrow..

I feel so cold and hot at the same time.

I pray that I won't fall even more ill.

Exams are coming up.

:(

I'm going to sleep earlier tonight.

Goodnight lovelies.

Xoxo.

Geez, I can't believe the day passed so quickly.

Today was filled with tears.

For me.

I cried a million times today.

Mostly over baptism ceremony, and the last time was because of an incident that happened to me.

So, Caroline Febrianty is a new person from 10/10/10 onwards.

I'm going to try to do what I wish - to inspire people, influence them, reach out to them, through my blog or any other forms of communication.

Others need to realize how real God is, how true He is to us, how much He sacrificed for us, how He will always be there for you, how much He will protect you no matter what and etc etc.

There is just an endless list of things that I can say about our God.

About how good He is.

How awesome and just wonderful He is.

During my baptism just now, I felt the water around my legs change.

It wasn't the same feeling I felt when I just entered the pool.

There's no word to describe it, because it is just so phenomenal.

There are two different ways to look at it.

Firstly, it's just God showing me that He is there, not only spiritually, but also physically.

Secondly, it's all of the doubts and the devil inside of me being washed away.

I personally believe that it's the both of them.

For the fact that God was present, allowing me to be spiritually reborn, it got rid of the unwanted things inside of me.

During the very short time I was in the water, I just felt that the water what cleansing my body, getting rid of the dirt in me.

After Pastor Ray got me out of the water, I just felt this huge sense of peace, love and warmth.

You can choose not to believe this.

But this is my personal experience and I just wish to share it with you so that you will understand in small pieces on how God works in our life.

He is so real that He was there for me during my baptism.

I am so sure to say now that He is watching over me, and blessing me in every aspect of life ever possible.

He always keep His promise by showing me that He is there when I ask for Him to show me that He is there and He is real.

He filled my heart, mind and soul with the Holy Spirit when I asked, sought and knocked, praying that the Holy Spirit would be able to fill me.

God does not break His promises.

From the Encounter Retreat, I have learnt so many incredible things that I will post about one day.

The presence of God is just so true that everyone felt it.

Everyone could see that everyone was feeling His presence and that that feeling was just so real that you have to be there to experience it.

I totally did not make the wrong decision by going for the retreat.

Since the retreat ended, I just got this call from God, telling me that it is my time to get baptized.

I was just so amazed by what God does.

He is our Father, our King, our God, our Best Friend and everything else.

Being able to have that special relationship with God just makes me feel so great inside.

This is just a start to what I'm going to update about the Encounter Retreat.

Now I just can't wait for Thanksgiving Retreat to come.

I can't wait to learn more about my God and His words.

Nothing can describe everything that I felt for the past few days.

No words can do that.

That's the one impossible thing to explain to you guys.

Guys and girls, always remember in your heart about how real God is.

And think of how much He mean to you.

Pray for Him to enter your life again if you sense you are far away from Him.

Pray to invite the Holy Spirit into your heart.

Never forget how much pain Jesus went through when He died on the cross for us.

I'm going to pray and head for bed right now.

This post is ending so abruptly because there's just no nice soft way to end this topic.

This can go on forever and ever.

I'll try to post as soon as I can about my experience for the few crazy days I've went through.

Goodnight lovelies and may God bless you.

Xoxo.

Currently in love with: Kina Grannis - Valentine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=840NbiFF1zM

Will blog another day.

I'm currently down with a slight flu and sore throat.

Cough is coming soon because I've been coughing since I got back.

Encounter retreat was spectacular.

A lot of things learnt for sure.

It just opened my whole world up.

Long story, leaving that for next time.

Have to do math homework tomorrow night, monday night and tuesday night.

Exam on wednesday.

Eek.

Okay, I can barely keep my eyes open.

Goodnight guys.

Don't forget to pray :)

Xoxo.

I just woke up not long ago, from my uh...

Almost-twelve-hours of sleep.

This is what 4 nights of less-than-six-hours of sleep does to me.

It makes me turn on my piggy mode on Thursday nights.

:/

Was supposed to go Niketown, but I woke up to see a BBM saying that we're not going anymore..

I went back to sleep.

Hahaha.

I woke up a million times, read the last sentence of everyone's BBM (didn't open the conversations you see), and went back to sleep.

I even saw a call, but I think I silenced it :/

And continued sleeping.

HAHA.

I'm thinking that I'm such a pig in my own head.

Oh well, I haven't had such a long sleep in such a long time..

I'm glad :D

I'm going to bathe and pack my stuff before heading out in two, three hours.

Encounter retreat :)

So I won't be able to blog tonight..

Encounter is going to be awesome, I can sense that.

Goodbye my loved ones.

Just for tonight.

Or tomorrow too, if I'm too tired to blog.

Xoxo.

There is no word to describe how tired I feel right now.
I'm currently at music practice and I just feel like sleeping on the sofa outside.
My eyes are so dry from my contacts and I cant really open them anymore.
I think I will fall asleep on the way back home from here.

I am currently going deaf by the way..

My brother just called me just now, out of the blue, and somehow when he called, I looked at my silent-mode phone.
Talked to him for a bit and told him that music practice was going to start soon so I got to go..
And he was so cute..

"Sister, sister. I love you, I love you."
"Aw, I love you tooooo."
"Sister, sister, I miss you."
"Aw, I miss you tooooo."

I miss my little brother so much.
He's the one person who can make me feel so happy and annoyed at the same time.
I really hoped that he could come over with Mommy and Daddy and my two sisters who would have gone back for-good by then.
But, no they can't come because my Daddy has to work and my ahboy is going to be busy with remedials in order to prepare for his Olevels next year..

I guess it's okay because I'll have my friends here to spend my Christmas and New Year's Eve and New Year with!
But deep inside, I will still feel that emptiness for being the only one away from the family, for being the last piece to the almost-completed puzzle or rather family potrait..

The "audiences" for today's music practice are those who I do not really know, so I'm kinda lost on whether I should converse with them, or not..

I am going to stop now because I am going to try to listen and figure out what songs are they singing and feel His presence right hete, right now..
Goodnight in advanced lovelies.
With loads of love,
Caroline, xoxo.

I just want to take this chance to thank God.

Even though I know that I'm still feeling really guilty, annoyed, and angry inside.

I realize that without You, I would have been in a worse situation.

Thank You for looking over me.

Ensuring that my sister and I would be fine.

I know that I've to count my blessings, instead of the opposite.

I am just so grateful.

Even though it's going to eat me up inside for a few days, I know that I will always count my blessings and keep this in my mind, and look out more carefully in the future.

Also, I just want to thank my friends who were there for me.

From wanting to meet me straight after it happened, to get offers to send me to school tomorrow and also to send me home after school tomorrow, and to simply to just being there for me.

Thank you for the gestures of showing your concern.

Receiving a few BBMs and calls asking if I'm okay.

That means the whole world to me.

Alfred, Ferdy, Patricia, StephanieT and my dearest sister, Steph..

Thank you for offering to send me to school, just because I said I don't feel like driving for a while now.

:)

Learn from me, listen to me.

NEVER forget to count your blessings.

Don't look at your misfortune and think of the worst-case scenarios that could happen or start wondering why things happened to you.

Be thankful because the worse things didn't happen.

Never forget that God is always looking out for you.

He is always with you and He'll make sure that you're safe.

Goodnight lovelies.

Xoxo.

Ah, the post is finally done.

& I'm finally home.

It's 1am btw people.

I've my 815 class tomorrow.

& I've to wake up at 645am.

Which is in 5 hours and 25 minutes :/

I need to sleep soon.

I know I didn't eat a lot today.

In fact, I ate very little today..

I know I should eat more, but I really am in the not-eating mood today.

I'll try to go back to me before today, and to eat more tomorrow :)

Even though my normal portion is already small..

Doesn't that just makes you wonder what on Earth did I eat today?

It's a secret.

Hahaha, if you guys knew, you would stuff me with food all week long and make me fat.

Okay, time to sleep now.

Goodnight lovelies.

Xoxo.

Love is like the wind. You can't see it but you can feel it.

That's like God's love to us.

You can't see it, but you can feel it.

That is how it works.

And we should always never forget the love He has for us.

Had a very "wise-y" moment with Ayumi and Elius on Saturday.

A few points made but I honestly can't remember every single little detail of whatever we said.

Summary:

We are all special in God's eyes.

First,

During POP, for the fact that He wants us to do something, to pay for something small with our lives, it just simply means that He loves us so much as he chose us out of the billions of people in this world.

I know that you might think "Hey, that is what everyone thinks, so doesn't that contradicts itself? I mean, how could every individual think the exact same thing? Feeling that we are that unique and special?"

We can't use logic to answer that question.

We used two different analogies.

Firstly, it's where people are like stars.

There are millions and billions of stars out there.

Imagine that each one of that represents each individual in this Universe.

No matter how many there are, every one of them are still shining with their own unique characteristic.

& Secondly, pretend that each one of us are like cars.

I could be a sports car, you could be a bus or an SUV.

You can't expect yourself to win in every category even if you're the most expensive or good-looking car and stuff like that.

Example, in a race, there is no way that a bus or an SUV can beat a sports car.

But in a race going up a mountain or just simply having a ride uphill, the only car that can do that in this particular example is only the SUV.

Lastly, in terms of capacity, a bus can definitely squeeze a lot more people compared to the other two.

In conclusion, we are all special in our own way.

We can't expect us to be number one at every single thing because that is just not going to happen.

No matter how much you pray or wish for it to be true.

God created every one of us to be different from one another.

There is no way that we can be champions in every single competition that we sign up for.

That is just not how life works.

Second,

When there's good, there's bad.

When there's right, there's wrong.

When there's up, there's down.

When there's rich, there's poor.

Hence, when there's God, there's Devil.

Otherwise, how would we know how to categorize people?

There is no way to prove to others that you are good when there's no one bad in this world to be in the contrast of yourself.

We are in the system but we are not of the system.

You can't expect to have all the good in this world.

If everyone is good, then everyone would be "equal", no?

With no comparison, there is just simply no difference in everything.

And that makes life mundane, doesn't it?

My point is that, if people all over the world believe in the Devil, why can't they believe that there's a God too?

Or rather, why can't they accept the fact that they have the mentality that God does exist too?

If there isn't a God who exists, a Devil wouldn't be seen as the Devil too.

Because we need to see the two extreme ends before actually believing in something.

And by believing one thing, people see you immediately as someone who believe in that other thing that is placed at the other side.

People do not realize it but their heart and mind has accepted the fact that God is real.

And that is not to be forgotten by any one of us.

God IS real.

Never forget this.

Third,

"God created the Heaven and the Earth."

Galaxy: (from wikipedia)

A galaxy is a massive, gravitationally bound system that consists of stars and stellar remnants, an interstellar medium of gas dust, and an important but poorly understood component tentatively dubbed dark matter. The Sun is one of the stars in the Milky Way galaxy; the Solar System includes the Earth and all the other objects that orbit the Sun. There are probably more than 170 billion (1.7 × 10¹¹) galaxies in the observable universe.

Universe: (from wikipedia)

The universe is commonly defined as the totality of everything that exists,^[1] including all physical matter and energy, the planets, stars, galaxies, and the contents of intergalactic space.

Now since you know how crazy huge this universe is, is it just so unimaginable to see the whole universe?

And to know that there is only one place in the whole universe where lives exist is where you and I are, doesn't that blow your mind away?

To know that God created the Heaven and Earth for all of us, don't you feel thankful, grateful and blessed that you are here right now?

That you are where you are?

How can we believe in that?

That God created the Heaven and the Earth?

And most importantly, how do we even know that God exists?

That is where, my friend, faith takes it place.

Even to those who believe in God, how much do you really trust in Him?

How true can you stay to Him?

We are so loved by God as we have the chance to live on Earth.

Doesn't that prove to you how much He loves us and how special we are to Him?

I don't think I'm making any sense right now.

So I'm going to put two quotes from my friends.

Just like the way we cannot comprehend the vast size of the universe, that is how we cannot comprehend the fullness of God. THIS is where FAITH plays its role in our lives.

- Elius Pribadi

Faith is to believe what we do not see and the reward of that is to see what we believe in.

- Wilson Hasan

I know that these are not the only things that we talked about.

I'll try to recall and share them with you guys as soon as I remember them.

Til then, try to digest these information.

These are not easy, simple things for you to understand.

It may seem like they are, but are they really?

Studying at LMU now.

I only did half a section on Chain Rule for derivatives and I'm bored so I just stopped for a moment.

I think trigonometry really puts me off cause since trigonometry appeared in the question, I started to get lazy :p

And so, I'm taking a break now by blogging :D

I feel like continuing my post but I don't know I stopped so I don't know where to continue.

What a retarded thing right?

I ate so little today, even I am shocked and scared of myself :/

I feel like sleeping.

I'm feeling so tired :(

Shall write that post now, bye!

RT @TheLoveStories: God wouldn't give you anything He knew you couldn't handle. So when times get rough, remember you'll get through it.#TLS

I just want to say something to those of you I've drifted away from as a good friend, a friend or even an acquaintance.

No matter how much we do not talk anymore, there is no doubt that I still think of you once in a while.

For the fact is that you were once an important person to me, or still are.

And I treasure you because you're a part of my circle of friends.

I thank you for being there for me, be it in the past, present or even in the future

I have to tell those of you, who I quarreled or argued with, something that comes from deep within me.

You know how people hate each other for some things that happened between them and all of that stuff?

Don't worry, I don't hate you and I never did.

Instead, I wish to have the opportunity to thank you.

For the things that happened between us made me a better and stronger person, made me look at things differently and allowing me to realize who are my real and true friends.

No hard feelings, I forgive you for everything.

♥

My right foot hurts so bad.

I walked from the car to the lobby and upstairs barefooted.

My 5" heels is the killer shoes.

Don't mess with it.

xx

Had such a long day in school today.

After school, it was time to go home and prepare for dinner.

It was just such perfect timing because by the time I'm done dressing up, it was time to go.

Dinner was not that bad overall.

A lot of photo taking session - as usual and typical for us Indonesians.

We were making a lot of noise I think, but it was really fun.

Happy Birthday Jennieeeee ♥

I'm still editing my other post :/

My bad, guys!

I'll post it as soon as I'm done with it, give me a day or two..

This week is going to be so hectic.

Sorry lovelies.

I'm going to wash up and sleep as soon as I am in my PJs, specs and retainers.

It's time to get my sleep..

Finally it's bedtime.

Goodnight lovelies.

Xoxo.

I hate how I'm starting to have irrelevant and unnecessary thoughts in my head. I know it's the words of the Devil. I'm trying to block them out, but I'm afraid I don't have the power and strength to do so.

I'm going to pray immediately after I get into my PJs.

It's time to shake things off.

And to see things in a different perspective.

Goodnight.

Xoxo.

A complex post, or rather a post that will really make you think if you understand certain things and stuff like that, was supposed to be posted tonight.

But it's not completed and it's already 137am.

I've to bathe and head to bed because I've an 815am class tomorrow, or rather later.

Goodnight lovelies.

Xoxo.

Church today.

I finally met up with so many people that I haven't seen for months...

1) Alyssa Victoria Adisasmita,

2) Kartika Tantra,

3) Steven Chuang.

And also the three people who I met at Mitsuwa,

4) Grace,

5) Mikka,

6) Mingming.

How long have I not seen them and how much I missed them.

Especially Kartika Tantra!!

I haven't seen her since just forever.

And even because of the long separation, we are still as lame and retarded as ever :p

After lunch, all of us, which is like more than 10 of us, decided to come to Hebron's and Elius's place to study and do homework.

I completed my Chemistry homework in the first 30 minutes of being at their place.

And I did 2 questions of Math before I decided to stop doing because I'm just too tired...

Or rather too lazy.

Going for dinner later and I am dreading for school to start tomorrow.

:(

We're chilling at Hebron's and Elius's place now.

It's so boring.

And eating popcorn and snacks is just making my throat condition.

:/

Thinking of what to engrave for the iPod I'm going to get.

Decided to put a Bible verse on it.

I think I want something about either...

Love, faith, friendship/relationship and trust.

Either one of that would be good.

I can't wait for tomorrow.

Church, lunch, chilling and going to Malibu to take pictures of the sunset.

How awesome is that?

My camera will finally be used after a long time.

Time to put out my charger and charge my battery.

And after that, to put my battery and memory card in my camera.

& to place my camera, lens and stuff in my bag.

Woopeedoo :)

I Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I just killed a moth.

And I'm feeling so guilty over it.

I'm sorry for killing you.

Forgive me ):

I'm sleepy, tired and just want to sleep right now.

But I'm going to take some time to blog about what I had in my mind earlier on.

When Bryan said that he couldn't do a single pull up last time, I thought about myself too.

And I had the same experience.

Back in April, I was the type of person who always said to myself that I couldn't do this and that and I will never be able to do whatever that thing was.

It started to change.

It being my mindset.

When I just entered Taekwondo, the master wanted to see our flexibility and strength.

One of the required things that he wanted us to do was to do a certain number of push up.

The moment he said that, without thinking it through, I blurted "I don't want to. I can't do a single push up. I have never did a proper push up and I just can't."

When my master heard that, he told me straight that I can't because I have had that mindset in my mind all along.

And he made me do the number of push ups he wanted.

I did.

Now, I can do more than 30 easily.

I know that they are not perfect but hey, from zero to a few tens?

That's an achievement.

And I'm proud of myself.

& I want to thank my master for changing my mindset and the way I look at a challenge in front of me.

From that moment onwards, I looked at things and life differently.

Maybe we just need to see every thing in different views/perspectives.

Also, we have to start from deep within us.

Our subconscious, our mind, our thoughts, and our hearts.

If you feel that you are not capable of doing something.

There is no chance that you will succeed in it.

Even if you could, you wouldn't.

If you start thinking..

"Hey, it's not that hard.",

"It's worth a try.",

"Maybe I'll achieve something.",

"Who knows that I can do it?",

"How would I know if I can or can't do something without trying it out?"

"No pain, no gain right?"

If you can have these little questions and encouragement for yourself, you would see how great you are at things that you are new to.

We are growing every day, every hour, every minute and second.

Discovering our talents within us is not a surprise.

But before actually realizing what we have in us, we need to take that first step.

The truth is that people are just afraid to do things that they are unfamiliar with.

I don't lie, I am like that too.

Everyone of us are.

But sometimes we just need to get out of that shell and try something new.

By doing so, we would receive something so special inside that nothing can describe it.

Like Jenny said..

If he/she can do so, I can do so too.

Just want to share 2 verses that I really liked from today's session.

Job 3:25 For what I fear comes upon me, and what I dread befalls me.

Maybe we shouldn't fear for every little thing that comes our way.

Maybe we should be strong and face it and deal with it.

Also,

Matthew 6:22-23 The eye is the lamp of the body; so then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness.

Just wanted to share a little something.

And this is it.

I don't know if it makes sense to you, you or you.

I sincerely hope that it does, but if it doesn't..

I'll be glad to explain what I mean.

Have a blessed day everyone.

Goodnight and don't forget to pray.

God bless.

Xoxo.

Start your day with a smile and a heart filled with nothing but positive thoughts, love and warmth.

You'll find that you'll be happier and enjoying your day much much more.

Don't get off your bed with the wrong foot, wrong mindset, or negative thoughts in your head.

You wouldn't want to be sad, annoyed, pissed or anything throughout the day, do you?

I'm sure you don't want that.

These two days started just incredibly.

And I hope your day starts just as awesome as mine did.

For all you people out there who are already having a great day, good job to you.

But for the others, don't worry.

Try to make tomorrow a better day.

It will be a better day.

Have a wonderful and blessed day ahead of you lovelies.

Xoxo.

Hebron Pribadi....

HELLO!!

HAHAHA.

Goodnight.

:p

STEPHANIE TANUBRATAAAAAA.

Hello :)

Goodnight babe.

Hahahahahahahahaha.

A super duper quick post.

School, lunch, school, dinner, music practice.

5 items to summarize my day.

Didn't really wanted to go for music practice because I'm pretty worn out..

Since I woke up at 6ish in the morning..

But I went anyway.

And I got home at 1plus am.

Dudes and dudettes, I've officially turned into a panda.

Pat said something during the music practice.

And it made me realize two things:

I find myself doubting myself even though people tell me good things about me.

I find myself telling others that they are wrong and that I'm just the complete opposite of what they say of me.

Oh well, long story.

I might tell you if you ask me.

But I'll just not say it otherwise.

:p

Okay, time to sleep.

2am now.

Goodnight lovelies!

Xoxo.